I lost my thought..  


So I've had three big thoughts in my brain for a week or so, and now I lost 'em all. Great.

Is greed the state of wanting more than what you have, of wanting what you can't have, or of wanting something and being determined to get it at any cost? Interesting thought. I'm not entirely sure, myself.

I saw a church sign the other day that caught my attention. I still don't know what I think of it. It said: Jesus- his life changed death, his death changed life. What do you think?

I still can't remember the other one.


Oh yeah. Protective parents. Try not to think of them as babying you, so much as them loving you enough to try to keep them safe. There was more, but I forget it.

This is a stupid post. But, this is how my disjointed brain works. Now you know.

Also, I really am adekkted. I've been having Circle dreams >_<

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LFTT Part 1 -Power  


Ok, so here's part one of an indefinite series of posts on the Circle Trilogy, and some of the lessons from it. I'm open to (read: desperate for) your thoughts and comments.

Lessons from the Trilogy
Part One

Black opens with a rather sinister pair locked in a power play. The fate of billions of people world wide could rest in their hands. Could. If they play their cards right. Carlos Missirian ans Valborg Svensson. If they succeed in this, their names will go down in history. If they fail, who will ever know? And frankly, with the right weapon, their chances of failing look pretty slim. All Earthly power is within their grasp. The ultimate struggle will soon begin.

And what are they after?

"[Svensson] was driven by an insatiable thirst for power, and the men he worked for even more so. This was their food, their drug."

Did you know that power is addictive? How many people, after tasting just a little power, are willing to fade back into obscurity? How many are even willing to stop at a taste of power? The more power a person wields, the more they desire to wield power. I believe that was one of the main driving forces behind most of the wars in history. Behind most crimes committed today. Power is a very powerful drug, and in the wrong hands, I think it's the most dangerous.

You've heard the saying that absolute power corrupts absolutely. Have you ever heard of a totalitarian regime that didn't become corrupted very quickly? Power is a corrosive. It literally eats at the soul of the person wielding it. Why?

Possibly for the same reason that it's hard for a rich man to enter Heaven. If we feel self-sufficient, if we feel self-important, if we feel that we are in charge, that we control the Earth...where is our focus? We get puffed up and start thinking in terms of 'I can...' and 'I will...' and 'I am...'.

But we weren't created to bring glory to ourselves. We are created to think in terms of 'G-d can.', 'G-d will.' and 'G-d is.' He is our definition. We are nothing, absolutely nothing without Him. The reason power is so corrosive is that it makes us forget who we are. rather, it makes us forget whose we are. And without that distinction, why should we care about others? Why shouldn't we rape and steal and murder? If I have the power, and I have no god, I become my own god.

It's the oldest struggle in the book, one that always ends in suffering and death. Power belongs in G-d's hands, and we would do well to remember that.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

As for Carlos and Svensson, and the man they work for, if you've finished the books you know what happens, where their choices take them. If you haven't finished reading I won't spoil it for you. But what did their power get them?

Is the power worth the pain?

What profit is there to a man who gains the whole world but loses his soul?

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Just a little venting  


Short post cos I'm already way overtime on ye olde internet.

First, Samara's doing pretty well. Still researching stuff. Still waiting for her to come home. I've had a cold the last few days and haven't been able to visit. Getting better, should be able to visit by tomorrow.

I finished the Circle trilogy. Awesome books, but my tear ducts are broken, I'm sure. I didn't cry once, but I should have several times. Weird.

And now my rant. I'm really angry at Dad. TWO YEARS ago, he said he would get me the Abeka curriculum instead of this retarded Switched-On Schoolhouse thing I have now. Two years. I have learned almost nothing in that time, formal edumacation wise. I've learned heaps from all my friends and all the research I've done and all the writing on Disciples of Elyon and MyPraize (I would put a thing in there about how you should join them, but I think all my readers are already members lol), but noo, he wants me to do the formal work. Never mind that it drives me crazy. Never mind that I actually can't do the schoolwork because the only computer that works won't run the idiotic program. Never mind that the work makes no sense and is highly illogical. And that it often marks me wrong when I know I'm right, my paren'ts know I'm right, and the flippin calculator knows I'm right. I really hate that program. They only use it because it's easier. If they give me that, they don't have to mark my work, assign projects or essays, or do anything. Just me and the computer.

Did I mention I hate that program?

Also, my best subject was always Bible, but I don't like their version of it. There's absolutely no room for discussion or disagreement or questions or anything. You just feed it's own words back to it, in the correct order. NEVER learn theology or Bible study from a computer. Never T_T

Dad did say a few months ago that talking and debating online was enough. Not anymore. Reduced net time until I catch up on my school. Which I can't do because my laptop still doesn't work.

I like being homeschooled, but sometimes I think it would be easier to just go to a normal school. At least they wouldn't change their minds as often.

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Random Ramblings I Rambled Last Night...  


This is a bit of an awkward post, really. I always thought that Brandon was my only reader, and that only because I harrassed him each time till he told me what he thought. And now I've been told that I'm wrong and at least one other person (who I look up to and respect very much) is an at least semi-regular reader, and maybe quite a few other people as well. So now I've gone all shy. Which is, of course, utterly ridiculous, because I wanted these people to read my blog and have kind of hoped they would. That's kind of the point in a blog. So yeah. Hi :)

Now this is almost as bad as my video lol.

Anyway. I don't remember what I last posted, because I'm not actually writing this on blogspot, I'm writing it on the notepad of my computer to fill in time while I wait for Dad to bring the internet home from his visit with Mum. So I'll assume I've said nothing about home life since Samara was born and edit out any reduntant information later.

We have a house now, not exactly in Brisbane but not far away either. We're still in the process of unpacking and sorting, so the house is in a bit of a shambles right now. MUm was re-admitted to hospital with some kind of complication, I forget what, but she's been discharged now and is staying st Ronald McDonald House again. Samara has been diagnosed with Down Syndrome, but we're looking into diets and treatments to help her deal with the symptoms and so far it looks like she won't be affected very badly. The hospital are talking about starting Parent Craft (whatever that is o_O) at the end of next week, which means unless she starts regressing she'll be home within a fortnight and we'll finally be able to hold her! The hospital has a policy that only parents and grandparents are allowed to hold the Special Care babies. Very annoying, especially when you consider that I'm old enough to be her mother and have more experience than most of the mothers in there. But, that's the policy. One month, nine days and I've never held her and only touched her when the nurses aren't looking.

In the meantime, we've all been keeping busy with not enough unpacking and too much internet (if there is such a thing :P), and the occasional fight. We might get to go to the opening of the new Koorong bookstore tomorrow and I can't wait! Koorong is the largest Australian Christian bookstore chain, and I love it there. Cheapest books around and a lot of decent music too. Even better, I'll get to go shopping while we're there as a late birthday present! AND Koorong is selling tickets for the Casting Crowns concert in Brisbane this January. I hope I can go.Haven't been to a concert in years.

I think that's Dad's car in the drive, so I'm out.

Love y'all ^_^

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